Today is Jasmine can write a post dayyy!!!!!!
Hello Everyone!
What I'm about to tell you all might come as a shock to some, but I think we all knew it was coming... Lara... Lara has an abnormally high percentage of dark side. It's true. You all had to know one day. I'll explain myself a bit more: Symptoms that come along with this abnormality are:
-Only eating when it's dark
-Sleeping during the day
- Singing the dark songs
-Liking dark colours
- Preferring shady spots
-Having dark hair and eyes
-Having darker skin than her friends
-Losing track of time
and others, but I don't want to cause excessive trauma, so let's just keep it at this. You may have noticed a few of these symptoms already, but the ones you have doubts about will show up soon enough. She has had this condition since birth. Although it looks like she eats during the day, she has secret connections which bribe all the restaurant owners to give her soluble food which she hides when you're not looking (in flowerpots and drains). One rare occasions when she is forced to eat food in the daytime, it feels to her like she is eating days off her life, which is actually happening. 1 meal = 1 lost day. This is a serious condition and you all should take precautions to save the days in her life that are left. Ways you can help include:
-Not turning on lights when she's around (especially when she's eating in the dark corner)
-Letting her take food home
-Not inviting her to sleepovers (unless you all want to loose your fridges)
- Doing activities at night
-Turning your headlights on when driving at night (she's nearly been hit twice while looking for food)
- Taking her shopping at dark places
- Not fixing broken lights in your house
If she's acting weird feed her Oreos. She has excellent night vision, so be careful when walking alone home at night. Never, under any circumstances, feed her teabiscuits, no matter how much she wants them. Thankyou for your cooperation. Look out for her and look out for each other. This condition is not contagious unless you have been walking under a dark forest canopy for 11 or more days. There is no known cure at the moment, but scientists think that eating sand from the driest deserts in the world should help. Please respect Lara's dark wishes until further notice.
Sincerely,
Jasmine Lowe
(Lara's cousin)
P.S. hahahahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
